Aus Chap #1 – Sydney Saunter

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(
Aus Chap. = ‘Australian Chapter’ [of my life; of this journal; or Aus Chap = my bf.)

#1 /  SYDNEY SAUNTER /
May – Aug 2018

This blog post has been sitting in my drafts with a title, a few edited pictures and a blinking cursor since early-May. At the time of titling it, I was living out my two-month plan to visit my boyfriend in Sydney (from the end of March) with a flight scheduled home for late May. However, the title should rather stand as “Sydney Snowball” as things escalated pretty quickly since then to me pushing the flight back to July, applying for a long-term visa and booking a one way ticket back from South Africa in September.

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So that’s the low down if you’ve been sceptically following my seemingly never-ending holiday Down Under on Instagram (and now in SA, as it’s already August and I’ve delayed this post by a whole country…). Maybe you were thinking that I seemed way too comfortable and had
surely overstayed that flimsy 3-month tourist visa, and wtf…bought a car there?! Yip, yip and yip. (I’m on a bridging visa now btw – if any authorities are reading this).

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But to start from the beginning, this was my first time going to Australia. I left SA end of  March just a month after returning from my year in Korea to experience a new country, making it my forth country to be in for 2018 (Korea, Japan, SA and now Aus). 

^ at the time of that post, it was A$1=R9.08. Today (25/08) it’s R10.45. 😦

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^ The coin proportions feel so off. Cents vs dollars.

During my stay, however, no one offered me shrimp on the barbie, I hadn’t noticed kangaroo steak on any menu, I’d seen ONE man dressed like Crocodile Dundee (in the mall, and very out of place) and yes, a lot of people do say ‘mate’. And ‘fair dinkum’. And go to the ‘dunny’ to pee.

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Ah, Vegemite! This stuff has been around for 95 years, and I didn’t know it was such a thing in Aus thing till I got there. I’ve tried it, but Bovril all the way for me, thanks. Although the smoothie bar, Boost Juice recently released a Vegemite Smoothie . It also has banana, chocolate and yoghurt and other good stuff in it too though, so all good – I guess I’ll have to give it a go.

TOURISTY THINGS:Sydney-Opera-House

What’s Sydney without its iconic Opera House? Ok, quite a lot from what I’ve since found out but it’s obviously top of the list of the first things to see when you get there. Although it’s an impressive building, I was actually more impressed by its location at Circular Quay, with its flurry of ferries and the magnificent Harbour Bridge stretching across in the background. The Royal Botanic Gardens are right there too, offering a scenic and peaceful meander through the beautifully kept gardens right next to the water. I have yet to find Mrs Macquarie’s Chair which apparently is at the point that offers some of the best views of the harbour.

I arrived in Australia in March with a stronger idea of what the outback might look like than the cities, and when imaging Sydney I just saw the Opera House and Bondi Beach. Klaar. So I was very pleasantly surprised to find that the architecture (particularly in the CBD, older areas) is beautifully Victorian and Edwardian styled (and many more).

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The first time walking in the city while passing statues, parks, old-style detailed buildings and lampposts I felt like I could be in London. This style fades out the further you go from the city centre unfortunately, but it’s beautiful and impressive every time I go into the city.

ZOO ZOO KANGAROO:ZooIt took me over a month after I arrived to finally see a kangaroo for the first time ever. A MONTH! And we had to go to the zoo to do so. Guess they don’t roam the streets like expected (this is a joke). The Taronga Zoo is across the harbour from the Opera House, so you can catch a ferry to the other side, which I really enjoyed. This also allows for the zoo, in particular the giraffes (not just because of their long necks), to have an impressive view of the Opera House, the bridge and the city skyline from across the water. I also got to see some koalas, wombats, echidnas and Tasmanian Devils for the first time.
P.s. Almost R500 for a day ticket into the zoo…

PUBLIC TRANSPORT:

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I find figuring out an unfamiliar country’s public transport system rather exciting, but also a bit overwhelming and frustrating. In Sydney, the trains (which are double decker) are really reliable/on time, but I’ve found the buses can be a bit hit or easily missed. And not quite cheap either. 

ROADTRIPPIN’:COastal

One weekend we decided to take a road trip south of Sydney along the coast in a general direction and see where we ended up. We stumbling upon quiet and beautiful viewpoints above the ocean, whale watching points (the whales were on winter break though), a blow hole in the rocks and small holiday towns with quirky shops and paths along the water’s edge with pelicans and stingrays. On the return trip just before taking the road home, we found a detour along a “Tourist Drive Route 9”. And suddenly we were snaking along a narrow road among green rolling hills and farm lands filled with cows while the sun slowly began to retreat on our spontaneous day out of the city.

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VIVID SYDNEY: the light show
This is a yearly festival that lights up the city (in and around the Circular Quay area and a few places beyond) with light installations, music and food events. This extends to The Rocks which is the historic and touristy precinct with restaurants, bars and shops in the old buildings along cobbled roads and through old archways. Very English feeling.

vivid.jpgParticularly impressive (as well as the many tall buildings being lit up with moving colourful displays) is the whole of the Opera House’s exterior painted in light and moving images that change designs often. You can get a great view of it from the other side of the quay. Despite the rain on the night we chose to go, we saw a lot and enjoyed it. Because we live far south, we had booked a hotel a short walk from the main event so we could enjoy the festivities till late. And by late, we found out is only 11pm when bars start closing. 11pm. During a festival period in the main part of a huge city…?

INCREASED MOBILITY:
Living in the spread out suburbs means that running simple errands or going to the mall takes double the time and planning when you don’t have a car and need to rely on the bus which comes once an hour. And so, after much scouring on car sites online and used-dealerships in person, my little baby was found hidden among many cars. I’ve had a car crush on the Fiat 500 since 2011 when I first saw it in a series I was watching at the time. And now she’s miiiiine 😀
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FYI: I can drive with my SA license as long as it’s current and has no suspensions etc. 

CHAPTER #2 to follow once I return/move to Sydney at the end of September and get some adventures going. 

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Toilet Humour – FREE PRINTABLES

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My boyfriend and I decided the toilet room’s walls needed to be filled, so we came up with some cheeky music-inspired sayings to illustrate.

But why keep it to ourselves? If you fancy some toilet humour for your own WC, click on the “DOWNLOAD HERE” link below each artwork for the high-res version, right click on the image in the new window and click “Save image as…”.
Best printed at A6 or A5 size.

The originals were painted in Winsor & Newton ultramarine ink.

Tinkle-Town
^ Tinkle TownDOWNLOAD HERE

Poop-City
^ Poop CityDOWNLOAD HERE

Plop-n-Roll
^ Plop ‘n RollDOWNLOAD HERE

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Illustrated Travel Journal: Part 12

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I know I’d been counting down my time left in Korea since about 6 months in, from then already dreading the impending end. And soon those 6 months quickly became 3, then 1 month, and that became 1 week, then suddenly 1 day. And now I write this after a blur of almost 3 weeks post-Korea from my bed in South Africa wondering where my year in kimchi-land actually went and if it all even happened at all! So, while I fend off the already-present nostalgia, here is my final chapter from my last month in SK.

Mon 05/02/2018 – This one time I was sick. For like a day.
Okay, so I’d only really been sick once in Korea and it was just a couple months into my contract and I should’ve gone to a doctor but things were still rather overwhelming back then so I didn’t. Fast forward 10 months to winter, a sore throat and last minute curiosity, I decided to use this as an opportunity to visit a Korean doctor. And an ear-nose-and-throat doc no less. But more for the experience than the meds. 1

With a recommendation from friends for a nice doc, I rocked up with no appointment and waited about 10 min to see Dr Park. Less than 5 min, a quick chat, check, scope down my throat later I was done and given a 3 day prescription and an invoice for W5000 (like R50!). At the pharmacy they then individually package your pills into morning, noon and night packets per day (fig. 1). So easy and inexpensive! Overall review: unnecessary – maybe. An experience – worth it! 

Wednes 14/02: Galentines Day
When you’re single or can’t be with your bae on Valentines Day, you can have a Galentines Day with your besties and go shopping, beer drinking, curry consuming and beer ponging. On a week night! Yay! ❤
(P.s I miss you guys already! </3 )
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Mon 19/02: The final week
My last week in Korea only had 2 days at school luckily. Monday was my final teaching day (ever!) and I had 5 classes of gr 4 so I drew a tree on the board, gave each kid a leaf-shaped sticky note and I told them I was “LEAF-ing” so they could write a little goodbye note and stick it on the tree. The joke was 90% wasted on them. Sigh. But I got a few creative or cute notes worth keeping and some soppy goodbye hugs. Sweet, man.
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Tuesday, being the closing ceremony day, meant we left at lunch time for our final teachers’ dinner/farewell for a large number of teachers changing schools. This as always, was filled with a lot of food (marinated BBQ pork this time – SO good!) and soju (mostly thanks to my gr5 co, Minkyung/my soju partner in crime over the year with Ms Min (crazy, fun and mother of 2) close behind if not the instigator as well as pourer-of-her-own-drinks. Of course my luck in the seating arrangement was me being placed right next to the principal and vice with the “higher powers” around them. A couple of hours and soju later, I had to say my final goodbyes to 2 of 3 of my co-teachers as we parted ways for the last time.

Friday 23/02: Ms Kang’s lunch
2 days before departure.
As my main co-teacher, personal co-ordinator, Korean translator and teacher of gr 3-4, Ms Kang and I spent the most time together over the year and she kindly invited me to her house to cook for me as a farewell. I got to meet her 7 year old daughter (who was super cute but got frustrated that I couldn’t understand her speaking in Korean) and her husband. My last dose of Korean hospitality.


Sunday 25/02: Departure Day4b
It arrived. And so at 9am I left my apartment for the last time, with two bloody heavy bags in tow to the airport for my flight at 12:45. Yes, I was early. Very early. But the inevitable had to begin at some point, so I’d rather be early than to be left behind. I’d expected the whole leaving thing to feel a lot more final. But it felt so normal. So unexpecting of the finality of it all. After a 2 hour-ish flight I landed in Beijing ready for an 8 hour layover – only to find the wifi would not let me connect. Thanks, ma’China!5

In that time I bought some Yaun (¥), some coffee, drew a bit and walked in circles for 8 hours in preparation for my impending 14.5 hour sitting test on the flight to Joburg.6
One hour into my longest flight (ever!) and I was already questioning how I was going to make it through this! Luckily I managed to sleep through a lot of it thanks to my packed necessities:7
My exhaustion was then met by an awful experience in OR Tambo at Joburg with delayed bags, rude staff and nearly missing my connecting flight due to the short layover time… and some tears, but I made it to PE in the end! Finally home in South Africa after 32hours since leaving my Korean home, and I miss it already…8

Thanks for scrolling!
This is sadly the final instalment of my South Korean Travel Journal.
New adventures are in the pipeline though…
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Illustrated Travel Journal: Part 11

Part-11-Header.jpgWith a visa in my passport, some yen in my purse, a small carry-on bag as my luggage and a birthday to be had, I set off on my first Japanese adventure!1_noted
Ok, so my trip was solely to Tokyo and only 5 nights long with the first 2 days being a solo adventure to begin with. But yay! Tokyo in winter! (which was surprisingly warmer than Busan).

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Getting from the airport to your accommodation is usually the biggest stress, but I made it, having pre-booked everything though (plan-a-lot-Amy). But then there’s still that moment (or many) when you come out of the subway and slowly do a 360 on the spot trying to orientate yourself in a foreign place while your internal GPS keeps saying “Connection lost. Connection lost. Turn back now.” But then you pull out your phone and things make sense. I don’t know how old-school travelers used to manage before Google Maps. 
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My hostel’s location was great, overlooking the beautiful Ueno Park which includes dams with ducks and also the zoo, and made for an easy landmark for getting back to it. The downside to the hostel was the strict policy for silence within the dorms which seemed to carry up to the common room and kitchen which was filled with people and awkward silence. No chill.  

DAY 1 – 21/01: Akihabara Anime District
I guess the advantage of not really knowing too much about a city is being able to be so much more surprised by what you aren’t expecting. I don’t know much about Anime or that Akihabara is like the homeland of it, but I went to explore with an open mind. I first got “lost” in the 9-floors-of-everything electronics store of Yodobashi which proved to be a sensory overload with so much stuff everywhere! I did stumble upon the Wacom tablet section and found a stationery level. I spent a good 6 hours in the area exploring the comic book stores, vintage console shops and the many arcade/ SEGA buildings (I had a go on Mario Karts too), found an artisanal market and tried my first bowl of ramen in Japan – food heaven!4_Akihabara

DAY 2 – 22/01: Asakusa and snow
I explored what I’ve decided is one of my favourite areas, Asakusa, an area with what felt like mazes of traditional-feeling street shopping with interesting curios and food. There is also the beautiful Sensoji Temple when you make it out of the maze. I even saw some (very cold looking) people dressed in kimono.5_AsakusaI also got to experience Tokyo in sleet and then snow. It’s the most snow I’ve been in before, including walking about 10km over the course of the day in pretty miserable constant windy snow-stormy weather. Despite this unpleasant weather I pushed on and made it to the Ginza area and through more angry weather, later made it to Tsukiji Fish Market (although mostly closed as it’s primarily a morning market and it was well after noon already for me). But I made it, and by the time I finally got back to the hostel all cold and wet, the city was falling deeper into a stormy night white landscape.

DAY 3 – 23/01: Biiiiirthday
I’m officially in my late 20s now! But what a way to turn a year older – welcoming in the new day by sipping on sake with a friend who had just joined me, and then waking up to a magical sunny and glistening Japanese winter wonderland outside. The difference in weather from the day before was amazing!
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Besides the rather treacherously icy walkways, it was the perfect setting to visit the white Sinjuku Gyeon National Garden to eat birthday cake while attempting to walk through snowy slosh. I also got to see Tokyo’s snow covered rooftops and parks from the 42nd floor of the Metro Government Building. Our busy day also included visiting the Meiji Shrine, finally going to Harajuku (much anticipated!) and sipping on birthday cocktails in this iconic quirky “kawaii” fashion area before heading to The Robot Restaurant in Shinjuku for a crazy show. This was 90 mins of bright lights, robots, large floats, loud music, people in weird costumes, dancing, singing and corny story lines all within a rather tiny area but totally worth it. A great strange Japanese experience for the books. 

DAY 4 – 24/01: Final fun 
My last full day in Tokyo was spent at the zoo in the morning (I got to see my first panda! As in a panda, he had no friends) before heading to the Shibuya Crossing to walk across one of the 5 cross paths of the famously busy intersection (to the other side of the road – a bit of an overhype but a must do). 7_ZooWe chose to walk from Shibuya to Harajuku which was a great experience that would have been missed had we taken the train. Along the way we found the Disney Store which looked like a castle and further on we found an Alice in Wonderland-themed store hidden through a tiny door into 3 floors of Alice-themed decorations and things. Last stop: Harajuku (for one more time) for more street exploring and shopping. My Harajuku trophy was a “Temaki Cats” shirt with cats in sushi hand rolls on it. I’m chuffed. There was also a large H&M sale on, so that’s one way to use up left over yen notes. Ching ching shop shop. 

After my whole [awesome] trip, I unfortunately came back with 0 beer labels for my journal. Not that I didn’t drink any beer, but all the convenience stores seemed to stock (besides seriously impressive pre-made convenience meals) were cans only. No labeled bottles. So I left with just some sake in pretty boxes. 

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Thanks for scrolling!
The final instalment of Part 12 to follow soon… Sad face.
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South African Flower Cards ~ FREE PRINTABLES

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Each card was lovingly hand-drawn and painted before being digitised and uploaded for you to print at home for a loved one. Choose from four beautiful South African flowers with the option of a special wish on the front of the card, or opt for a blank template to write your own message or your loved one’s name. Folding instructions below. 

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©Amy Slatem 2018. For personal use only. 

Special Message Cards:

Print the card to suit the special occasion.

To download:
Click on the card name below (will open in a new tab) > (right click) save image as > then print as A4 (don’t fit to page)

Blank Message Cards:

Write your own message or loved one’s name in flower’s banner.

To download:
Click on the card name below (will open in a new tab) > (right click) save image as > then print as A4 (don’t fit to page)

HOW TO FOLD:

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  1. Fold A4 printed page in half horizontally.
  2. Fold in half again so the flower is on the front. Open the card and write your message on the right inside page.
  3. Tadaah! You’re done. Now pop it in an envelope. 

Please do not edit, re-purpose or sell these files or printouts. For personal use only.
©Amy Slatem 2018.

But please do show me your finished printed cards by tagging me on Instagram @shmaymee.

Illustrated Travel Journal: Part 10

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Over the course of just six weeks, I will have traveled to Phuket (Thailand), Seoul (Korea) and Tokyo (Japan). Somebody pinch me!
It’s also been my first Christmas spent away from home, but also the first one spent with my boyfriend, and in winter! And although we’ve welcomed in the new year together a number of times already, it’s the first year it’s been just us two. Aww.

Sat – Mon 16 – 18 December 2017: Phuket wedding weekend
When a family wedding is taking place at a stunning beach resort in Phuket, you make sure you get your butt to Thailand, even if all you can get is one day off work. What an amazing whirlwind of a weekend adventure though!
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SUMMARY: Friday: leave from work to fly for 10 hours, arrive at the hotel by 2am Saturday. Sleep a bit, then a reunion with my family after 10 months apart and enjoy a beach and beer day. Sunday wedding, Monday afternoon fly back to Korea, 10 hour transit. Tuesday: rush from the airport at 7am, catch a train home, toss bags and catch a bus to make it in time for school at 8:30am while running on 3 hours of sleep. Done. Not to mention enduring the temperature change from Korean 0°s to Thailand 28°s and back again. 

Sat – Sunday: chill time
What better way to catch up with your brothers and parents than drinking beer by the pool? A reunion with family, and my old friend Chang (we met in August, remember?). Quite unreal to suddenly be in shorts and being able to swim again and not be buried under multiple layers and scarves. We went kayaking out to an island off of Kata Beach, swam a LOT, sipped on coconuts, ate Thai green curry, walked along the beaches and paths and ambled through the street markets with my mom. 

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Sunday: Wedding day
The afternoon came with looming clouds on one side of the sky and sunshine and rainbows on the other, as the 50-odd guests arrived for my step-brother, Simon and Anni’s ceremony. With a 3 piece band playing in the background, the bride and groom were soon standing in front of their beautiful beach backdrop. The reception to follow was just as gorgeous, light-hearted and fun with every bit of amazing Thai hospitality and catering too. The most stunning and special wedding I’ve been to yet. Congratulations to the new Mr & Mrs/Dr Cloete! No pressure for the rest of us siblings…5_Wedding
Tuesday: Hong Kong layover
Getting back to Busan involved reluctant family good byes, an hour taxi ride, two flights and a midnight layover in (an impressive) Hong Kong International. But all I wanted to do was sleep before having to deal with kids in the morning. I also had to do a wardrobe change from a t-shirt back to thermals and a padded jacket.

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Saturday 9/12: Dog cafe
Back in Busan… The bucket list frenzy continued. One weekend I got to tick off two more things: going to a dog cafe (for petting, not eating – just to clarify) and getting a Korean manicure/gel nails.
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The dog cafe was an interesting experience. We were surrounded by a mixed collection of dogs of different breeds and sizes but all had a rather spoilt attitude. They clearly know everything is centered around them and you’ll find that the humans are the ones desperately seeking attention. The dogs basically amble around with the attitudes of disinterested cats. Until, however, someone new comes into the cafe. Then suddenly there is barking and frantic running to the entrance. This often takes away any of your hard-earned efforts to seduce a pup to come and cuddle with you as they fly off your lap (and sometimes, the table) to inspect the new intruder. We also had a little show by the owner who gave the giant fluffy dog a piggy back around, and later pushed a collection of dogs around on a trolley. 

Sat 23/12: Songdo cable cars
With my boyfriend here from Australia for two weeks, it was a good opportunity to tick off going on the fairly new (June) cable cars together. It was worth the effort of the train and bus transfer to get to Songdo Beach, which is scattered with sculptures above the water and a sky walk snaking over the water too. 6_Songdo
The queue was almost nonexistent to go in the regular cable cars, while the glass-floored cars had a queue that’d make you consider scrapping the idea. A lovely afternoon date, which I’m sure is even better by night. 

Mon 25/12: Christmas
Instead of spending Christmas eve in my little flat, we decided to treat ourselves to a penthouse hotel apartment in Seomyeon with no less than a pool and hot tub outside. We heading out to see the Christmas lights in Nampo-dong but were unfortunately met by hoards of other Christmas-goers and could barely move so we decided to tap out early and go to Galmegi Brewery instead.
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Sat – Thur 30/12 – 04/01: Seoul New Years Adventure
Probably the coldest I’ve been in Korea. Man, Seoul was icy and it seemed to enjoy playing in the negative digits, down to -8° often and a bit of snow on the first night. But it didn’t stop us from doing most of our exploring by foot and only catching the subway a couple of times – the advantage of our hotel’s great location near the historic city center.8_Seoul-new-year
Sunday: I couldn’t believe my luck to find that The Seoul Illustration Fair fell on the weekend that I’d be in town! A bit of a sensory overload with so many stands of local illustrators with so much cool work to look at and business cards to collect while trying not to want something from everyone.
Highlights: We adventured around a lot and got to see much more of the city than the first time we were here and happened to stumble upon cool spots as we went along.
Places we went: Myeongdong shopping street (in search of the Hello Kitty Cafe – which we found had closed down – sad face), Changgyeonggung Palace, Insadong Art Street (one of my favourite areas), Ihwa mural village and Gangnum Station. We also attempted Lotte World but the lines to the roller coasters and rides were just too long.
New Years Eve: Braving the cold, we left our cozy hotel room at 11:45pm and headed down the street to watch the Bosingak Bell-Ringing Ceremony at midnight. The streets were closed off, there were some performers and large crowds but the countdown was 
anti-climatic and the crowds dispersed straight after it into a mini stampede. 

Friday 05/01: The great depart
(Back in Busan) Goodbyes in a long distance relationship are the worst. But it was also the last one for us in Korea as new and interesting things lie ahead. But for now, it’s another 3 months apart. Meh. depart-1.jpg

Thanks for scrolling! Part 11 to follow soon…Follow-me

Illustrated Travel Journal: Part 9

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There is definitely a mid-year slump that comes after the initial excitement, when that need-to-explore-at-every-opportunity settles. You slide into a routine. A comfort. You start maybe meeting up for lunch with friends or go shopping once a weekend and the rest of your precious free time you just blob away at home on Netflix (although, around that time of year the extreme heat and humidity is keeping everyone indoors). But then a few months later you wake up and realise you have 3 months left and it’s back to that tourist-frenzy!

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I recently started a bucket list of everything I want/need to do in Korea before my time is up. But the number of available weekends left to get all of these things done has been quickly ticking away. Cue slight panic. But since making this list a top priority I’ve managed to get most of my wishes granted so far and it’s been an exciting time of adventures once more. 

Sat 21 October: Seaside temples and abandoned railways
Probably the windiest day in Busan this year, but plans were already set for Bucket List entry 1: To visit Haedong Yonggungsa (해동 용궁사) – the temple by the sea (which is uncommon as temples are usually found in the mountains).

We (a friend and I) decided to brave the wind and take on the +-8km walk from the temple along the coast, past Songjeong Beach, past a number of lighthouses and toward Haeundae Beach. Half way there our path joined with the abandoned railway (another tick off the bucket list) and we were blown along the scenic track along the coastline passing many other walkers, murals, couples with tripods and a tunnel, and eventually the end of the track.

Sat 28 Oct: Halloween Party
Halloween was actually on the following Tuesday, so parties were planned for the weekend before. Our choice was a bar-hopping opportunity in PNU. Five of us kitted up as zombie tourists dressed in brightly-coloured banana shirts from Vietnam, Thai T’s, sunglasses, fanny packs and plastic binoculars around our necks. We did our zombie make up and stuck tattoos of scars and cuts on our faces. The looks we got while on the subway though…

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Sun 29 Oct: Spa Land and getting naked
This one was more of a personal dare than a “fun one”. Going to a Korean spa means going butt naked in public baths and soaking alongside Korean contemporaries, saggy ajummas and probably the worst – other foreigners. This includes getting naked in the change rooms and showering in open showers (and all the walking around in between).

Going to the spa also means lounging in mixed-gender sauna rooms (in baggy spa robes thankfully), and if you go to Spa Land in Shinsegae it’s basically a sauna theme park. There are 13 different sauna rooms with different temperatures and themes (including: a Finnish Sauna, Roman Sauna, Wave-Dream Room, Roman Room, Milky Bath, Pyramid Room, Bali Room and Ice Room.) This was my favourite part and I’d happily go back for this relaxing and warm experience. I’m not in any rush to take my clothes off in public again though, despite the hot spring baths being pretty great.
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I also pushed my boundaries and opted for an additional “seshin” session – a full body scrub given by a scrub ajumma dressed in a black bikini with seriously abrasive mittens on. You lie face down on a plastic covered table with your bare bum exposed as you get scrubbed down till it feels like your meat is exposed. She then pours a bucket of warm water over you before you waddle out to seek refuse in the hot baths again. This is how baby skin is made. 

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